" ...the next best thing to playing and winning is playing and looseing...." Allison Krauss
I think I kind of like her logic its from a song called The Lucky One.
With my ability to pray at an all time low - dragging down with it all Faith and reason and will to get out of bed. I set out armed with some clothes a diskman and three trance CDs, oh and most importantly 2 pillows (which fold supprisingly small due to the high woolworth quality)
All this because I was too impatient to wait for tuesdays adventure i set of to the Big Smoke on the imfamous Mega bus.
I remembered the other day as i stood at the bus stop near uni, the first time i had stood there over a year and 1/2 ago. It seemes so familiar now, but it made me aware of how sharp the feel of unfamiliarity is and how much I like it the sharpness makes everything seem more real, I nottice everylittle detail, and my memory is such that with familiarity comes a certain level of blindness to what is actually there, Instead of knowing it better i know it less as it becomes excepted and normalised and I stop looking so deeply. I think I do this with people, I know now that I do this with God, I begin to take his presence for granted. I need fresh awe everyday, God help me to see everything as new and fresh everday and not take you and every thing for granted so that I don't actually miss what is there. Amen
See with this journey stuff I know where i am going, I know how long it will take roughly, i know the cost (well sort of, my overdrawn overdraft paid it so I haven't yet but ignore this factor for a mo, I know the cost i will eventially pay, Very cheep actually is this Mega bussing but boy do I now know why. I know other things will happen if I let them but i hate predictabilitty, I hate routine and lack of it I live in this paradoxical(might not be the right word but hey) world where what I need frustrates me but with out it I feel lost ..... any way i have bumbled enough. Its great to see my friends, topped up the tan a bit and had a picnic.
PEACE
